Day 2
Friday the 14th of October and another day to spend with Gramps, following no call in the night to say otherwise. Arriving at the hospital this morning I was hoping to find him more comfortable and less agitated than yesterday. I am happy to report that he was fast asleep looking extremely comfortable. He woke briefly and we had a little chat and checked he was comfortable and pain free. It appears today that he is no longer on the unsettled 10-minute cycle. He has only woken a couple of times and it’s now 10:00am. He mentioned that his stomach had been a little uncomfortable but was currently ok. I am awaiting an update from the medical team to see if he has been given anything in the night as he is now sleeping a lot. He is mumbling in his sleep and seems to be dreaming a lot. I hope they are sweet dreams. Even the noises of the ward and staff crashing about is not disturbing him to the point of waking fully. I await news if this is because of medical interventions or something else. The doctor just popped in to check on Gramps and she says he had a settled night and there has been no medical intervention, so his sleeping is just part of the course.
Pick your battles..
The nurse popped into to try and get personal care offered to Gramps. Now, before we left yesterday the nurse had told me that she had tried to give him a wash in the morning before the day team took over and it didn’t go well. Gramps was getting very agitated, and he was trying to push them away. I suggested to leave it until I was here in the morning to see if he was a little calmer. So today the nurse said she would change his gown and give him a wash. I offered to do it and to stay but she was insistent that we stepped out, so we did. She called me 5 minutes later saying that he wouldn’t allow her to do anything. I came into the room, and he was repeating that’s enough and to leave him alone. So, I asked the nurse to help me move him up the bed and to leave the rest to me. She wanted to use the slide sheet which would have meant two turns onto his side to put the slide sheet into place. One thing I’ve learnt working with Dementia is that when someone is agitated the last thing, they are going to do for you is let you turn them to slide something under them. I suggested that we tilt the bed and use the sheet underneath him, she was worried that he would get upset, and I said we will be so quick that it would be over before he even knows he’s been moved. This worked as always, like a treat, sometimes you have to just get these things done and leave them in peace or at least until they have relaxed. He had one arm in one gown and another in the clean one. She was shocked when I said just leave it like that and I will sort it later. He was happy because he was being left alone and he wasn’t worried or at any risk so no issue. I said to her to pick her battles and take a win when you can but admit defeat when it was an impossible task without her being at risk and Gramps at risk of agitation.
Lets do something different..
This all makes me think about our team and trying to support our customers with their day-to-day needs. We have a very relaxed way to approach the tasks that we are to complete, and it works in one very simple way, if they don’t want it don’t force them. Listen to them, and by this we mean listen! This might not be words this might be a facial expression or a body movement which tells you, if your listening, that they are happy or not with the task at hand. Talk to them and tell them what you would like to do, BEFORE doing it, BEFORE you touch them. Most confrontations with people living with dementia or any condition is not communicating and that goes both ways. Unless there is a safety concern let them be. Some of the most important work we do at BYS is supporting families to communicate differently and effectively with their loved ones.
With regards to the double gown saga that had presented itself, I waited for him to wake up and then simply said you’ve got all tangled up and he let me remove the sleeve of the one and replaced it with the sleeve of the clean one and repositioned all his blankets tucking him in so he went back off to sleep. No one was hurt during this gown change lol.
Its 2pm and Gramps has slept most of the day today. We have had a few chats when he has woken up. He has had a spoonful of porridge today and one mouthful of shepherd’s pie. He has had a few sips of water. Now that may concern you to hear, but he’s not moving so is not burning anything. Just having a little fluid will keep everything in the body working comfortably. He has mainly laid down today and only sat up a couple of times for a drink. This is another thing families we support, especially at end of life, worry about. Gramps can have whatever he wants whenever he wants. He is comfortable and currently pain free so to upset him to force these things in him wouldn’t be fair. We naturally think food or a drink for anything to make us feel better. Sometimes just letting someone be comfortable is the best medicine. Its lovely just to see him relaxed, especially as yesterday he was trying to get up every 10 minutes, so he may have just worn himself out or his body is just getting ready to permanently rest.
Dinner time is immanent, and Gramps is still sleeping. He must have smelt my decent cup of tea and he woke for a very short period, and I shared a sip with him then he went back off to sleep. My cousin is on her way to see him and sit with him this evening. I hate to leave him, but he is restful at present and has been asleep all day. I hope that he stays that way, so he stays comfortable. I spoke briefly to the palliative team when they popped in and they are going to see how he is over the weekend then confirm his place on Monday for the hospice. With my professional head on I’m guessing they don’t anticipate he will see the weekend out, but who knows. It’s the one thing no one can tell us! It’s a shame they couldn’t get him in there for the weekend, it would have made me feel much more comfortable knowing he was in good hands. He is ok in the hospital, but they don’t have the attention they do in the hospice.